Regardless of this Dark Abysmal Sea

Khaleesi (April 21, 2019-August 28, 2019)

You played with us for too short a while, friend,
yet you gave the most love to everyone you’d meet
teaching us about the open heart of sun and skies
how the sun is never bashful or stingy with its sighs
even when you were asleep you dreamed us joy
like the moon reminding of prior days’ abundance
breathing in and out the world so close you’d keep
that stars and hearts sang to the love that you’d see
the one you saw regardless of this dark abysmal sea

Necrologicos

Writing is a form of necromancy,
digging up what you thought was dead
what you believed was never even alive,
what you believed could never even exist,
only to discover that not only does it breathe,
but that it was the one breathing for you all along

Catching Shadows

what object does not cast a shadow before the sun?
what person does not share their smile with a frown?
we are stretched between the dark and brightest light,
between the left and the right, the end and what begins;
no one can avoid the polarity of our meager perception
and so when I say I love you, my words fall as leaves fall
beneath the wilting autumn sun, shades confusing you
as you try to catch them in your shadow where they land

Beautiful Errors

when I was younger and filled with desire,
I used to think that powerful art could awaken,
that the charms of poet, music and philosopher
could return us to our long lost forgotten souls.
but how mistaken I was about that primal love
for I had not known or returned to my own soul
and so how could I have possibly ever known
that all religion, philosophy, brilliant art and song
are maps of an erroneous creative mind blind
confused and longing for a heavenly blissful life
a life that has been present for us here all along.

Heart Beats with a Trillion Flickering Stars

Upon the day the sun shone brightest, I looked upon the waters of the deep,
I thought perhaps I could gain knowledge of the life of these greatest seas
for I had been fond of such abysmal research before, watching the crowds
passing by or doing their daily chores, heads down, hands unable to hold
unable to give, unable to scold or to capture their dreaming desires bold.

Yet all I could ever see upon the surface of the sea were mirrors of me
fragments fallen to the bottom, souls of me swimming in that dark deep
with a frightening and most sinister gravity hiding down below pulling
my heart beneath to be and live there alone as alone as the earth is alone
she, a living cosmic symphony who muses with all planets, sun, and stars.

Could it be, I wondered, could it be that my drowning is a birth of me?
Could it be, I marveled, that I could dissolve into that heaven born sea?
I will dare the wandering as ocean flows and reaches the shore to leave,
as I, too, breathe wondering to where leads this strangest of journeys
the one where water’s rhythm heart beats with a trillion flickering stars

The Work of Sun and Moon

I stand between the dawn and the dusk

as the moon stands midst dark and bright

sweet light borrowed from her consort Sun,

and as I wain, darker creatures ever emerge

In the sleep of those anxious and despairing

as if the lights of heaven are disappearing:

dark in that night are those lost sorry souls;

but as I turn face to reflect his light in full,

those cruel fears dissolve each in their turn

giving song to those bright and starry souls.

About (Love)

It has taken a while for me to publish an “About” page. But today was the day for it to be written.

We can live our lives in the same identity for many many years, or we can try this way or that way as the wind blows. It doesn’t matter if you try on one costume or may costumes. You are still just the one trying on costumes.

But who are you anyway?

The world teaches that you are nothing without the costume.

But I am here to tell you are everything without it.

That is because what you are is simply Love.

So here is my about page. This will never change. https://2ofswans.com/about-love/

Let Go the Shadows (Purgatory)

Who are you—who, against the hidden river,
were able to escape the eternal prison?”
he said, moving those venerable plumes.



Then he replied: “I do not come through my
own self. There was a lady sent from Heaven;
her pleas led me to help and guide this man.

Dante, Pugatorio, Canto 1, 40-42, 52-54

my love,
I saw you standing midst those who in purgatory dwell
singing makeshift words of another’s conjured rhymes
lies that evaporate before entangling hearts and minds
what you still pretend to be yesterday and tomorrow
as a child clinging to hopes from mommy borrowed
the thin shades cannot survive your heavenly skies,
not a million could survive the power of your light
to lead you to where you know you are called to go
to be brave enough to pass through your own shadows;
for the reflections of others will never keep you close
the shadows that follow others when they leave you
what you mistake for love just ’cause it hurts the most.

Love Portal

Love is found in the gift of time we give ourselves. It is found in the small and beautiful places, the places we don’t believe we have time to notice because we are busy chasing the bigger dreams and visions that other people gave to us.

2 of Swans

Love is that single rose who blooms
vivid red to capture wandering looks
portal to a universe magical but true
yet whom summer breezes oft confuse
with the tired colors of old passersby
noise overwhelming flowers that cry,
for human ends do drag them far away
to resume the repeating and familiar day
whilst rose is left to dry petals falling
doors closing to the vast expanse of all
magic lost till when again Love calls.

Psychic Programming

The darkness wants you to walk through it with the light that it wishes to become.

2 of Swans

2. We do not operate as individuals in this world until we allow source or God or spirit to enter us and guide us. Desire, hard work, more time, more education, more money, external circumstances, the rat race will never create for you your independence and self expression.

3. Your world view, your opinions about society and your relationship to the world is created out of a pre-existing template. In the programming world this is known as an abstract class. It has no way of instantiation without the individual that implements it. This is because it has no energy by and from itself. It requires your energy for manifestation.

4. We know we are experiencing outside the programmatic system when we experience joy and happiness, the kind that only the infinite can experience, the kind that overflows into and out of itself.

5. Your fears are not outside of you. All of them are seeded from within and show up as a programmatic sheath or veil over who you truly are.

6. The veil that is the illusion of this world of perception is not a metaphor.

7. You cannot override a programmatic system by means of that system. The “off” switch is still part of that system. And when you turn it off, it continues to run in the background, creating more and more void and emptiness until you can take it no longer and turn “on” its lights again.

8. Your false self is a parasite that feeds on your true self’s divine and light energy. The more it does that, the more tired, the more weary of life you become. This weariness of life shows up in anger,frustration, jealousy, feelings of victimization. Your boundaries become a prison, your life becomes one that lacks.

9. There is a a particularly insidious template in the world called “victim empowerment”. It runs on the premise that you have access to hidden truths due to your dark despair, depression, and/or anxiety. It wants you to express all manner and form of that darkness as if it were good medicine for you and the world. But the truth is that it is more like a virus or a cancer than a mode of healing. It glorifies despair, idealizing it, and creating even deeper dependencies.

10. The end result of all psychic programming is to consume energy from those who have it for the sake of those who do not. It is literally an attempt to drain life from the living to those who are dead. This can go on forever, from lifetime to lifetime, because the light source is infinite, although the body is not.

11. The walking dead is not a metaphor. It lives.

12. Most people’s lives are on an infinite loop that is able to create the appearance of randomization and organic development. It distracts from the truth that for most of their lives, they have never left the place they started in twenty, thirty, or more years ago.

13. Happiness is not from going within and separating yourself from the outside. Happiness is from allowing all the limits to crumble down before your senses, so that you might see your infinite vastness and the energy of your unconditional love that naturally overflows into all and every around you.

14. You are the recipient of the most sophisticated form of artificial intelligence. But it is an intelligence that is feeding off something that is impossible to emulate: a love that knows no bounds.

15. The equation that says love equals sex and sexuality is designed to keep you enslaved to your physical representation while other entities steal your soul. They even sing pop songs to that.

16. It doesn’t matter what wisdom you become aware of our how many healthy foods and activities you entertain, if you still practice and preach duality, your heart is still in the dark and you are living inside an artificial system.

17. Us vs. them philosophies, attitudes, is an emanation that does not derive from source light, but is derived from the systemic matrix itself. It is attractive, because as despair increases, so too does the desire to justify and avenge it increase. There is an apparent and illusory beauty in that.

18. If we all stopped thinking government, our mommy and our daddy, were important for our survival or important at all, all of its evils would cease to exist, including war and murder. In fact, it would cease to exist because it would become what it truly is: irrelevant and a useless impediment to human freedom and happiness. But the truth is most of us don’t care, especially those who rail on and on about the evil power of government. For to see the government for what it is is to see that it derives and feeds off of our own sense of victimization, powerlessness, and ignorance, all of which are illusions all of which we believe.

19. Be aware of those who are around you: are they closing doors or opening them? The ones that close want to capture and feed upon the bird. The ones that open, want to see you fly. Unfortunately, many of us have been programmed to fear the open sky because we do not believe we have wings.

20. We are programmed to demand proof of success in order to do something. We seek external advice and information in order to gain this proof. It signifies a deep loss in our intuitive sense and inner knowledge, our faith in ourselves, in the universe.

21. We have been programmed to see the universe as an object to be studied and observed by science. That programming works to keep your spirit and your mind outside of itself.

22. The modern world is designed to make humanity slaves to money, their job, their commitments, their version of 1984. There are movies that glorify this. Our neighbors celebrate it, our friends, our spouses. For a time we feel “right”, but you know the truth. You know the deeper truth.

23. The mind is programmed in such a way as to be able to comprehend wisdom, truths, awareness in terms of the system and inside the system. This is why there are so many “false” gurus. They have deep insightful things to say about the world and life, but if they were to observe their actual life, it would be a far cry from wisdom.

24. There are programs designed to comprehend and express emotions. It affords a feeling of power that does not really exist.

25. The physical world is an amazing mystery with laws and behaviors not even scientists can completely understand. The cohesive perception of substance that gives the impression of continuity and persistence is simply remarkable. It is what seems to confirm for us that it is more real that what is less continuous and perceptible. It is the most perfect illusion.

26. The system will always defend its own existence and it will do so through all instances of humanity. It is no different from a computer virus and it replicates every day a child is born. But there is a light that can be lit where all appears dark and impossible to overcome. There is a light in your heart, the connection to source, to God, to the divine – whatever you want to call it. In the end, it is the force that moves all without moving, the energy that loves without needing love in return, for the return is always in the act of loving, and the giving is equivalent to the receiving; the gift, the forever given, the never ever needing.