I was moved to do a tarot reading today because I have been feeling an immense shifting of energy – a certain powerful calming influence, a feeling of freedom and fresh air, of being unattached to any outcomes one way another, an absence of fear. As I am a channeler and I generally work with Archangel Uriel, I pick up collective energies as well as my own. I receive information and wisdom regarding these these energies, as well as lessons that hopefully reach the one they are meant for. Archangel Uriel is especially fond of turning things upside down on their head, and this is necessary when the hourglass has finished letting the sand fall to one extreme or the other.
Extremity is simply holding on to too much, digging one’s claws too deep, to one side of the duality or other. We don’t want the hourglass to be turned upside down. We want to stay where we are even though we are in an imbalance and choking on sand. Today, Uriel showed me the consequences of spending too much of our time seeking public attention and exposure at the cost of being authentic and true to our soul and its journey. The soul’s journey is a journey that seeks balance within. It is the master hand that controls the hourglass but does not itself reside within it. But where many of us are is not in a journey or in our power as much as an attempt to hide or to escape from taking that journey, from owning that power.
When we choose to please others and live our lives or create our projects based primarily on the approval of others, we are not living an authentic life. It is not as if we have consulted our soul and its direction, for the soul is what connects us to the divine and where we discover our own connection to the universe. Instead, we have been seeking the approval and advice and direction of other people. By both their words and their actions we are tugged and pulled along in life. The consequences of this behavior is truly catastrophic, as it both leads to and causes depression and self loathing, anger, resentment, envy, and internal/external conflict (anxiety).
We are meant to shine, not to be someone else’s mules.
And the longer we do not listen to our soul, the deeper the pain will be felt. We can choose to continue to medicate ourselves by chasing more approval or perhaps by some divine intervention choose to instead stop and begin to heal and face what we have been running from. For what we have been running from is our soul and the purpose of our soul. It doesn’t matter the reasons. Perhaps people tell you are worthless. Perhaps your parents told you were a waste of time. Maybe a past life experience has never let go. Whatever the reason, you can still choose to start again by stopping. Stop chasing. Stop looking. You are already here and ready.
For this reading I was guided to use the Quantum Tarot Version 2.0 by Lo Scarabeo. I love this deck, as it gives me a new way to consider the energies that are normally expressed in only anthropomorphic images. There is so much to learn in physical science that can help us to understand our spiritual journeys. I am of the belief that a stronger alliance between science and spirituality will strengthen the power of both. For those interested in the numerological significance, the cards read: 6969. 6969 is an angelic number sequence that indicates to us that it is time to let go of material attachments. Can’t make this stuff up.
The first two cards are the Black Hole reversed (traditionally The Devil) and Star Birth (9 of Cups). The Black Hole is something that consumes light and never releases it. The closer an object gets to it, the slower time appears until it stops altogether. Life becomes difficult and hard to get through or it just becomes mundane and boring. We become sluggish and feel a lack of vigor, giving ourselves the excuse that perhaps we have become too old or too weary to do much more. We all know that stuck feeling, that feeling that we have made certain choices and agreements or contracts and that we just cannot release ourselves from them. It doesn’t matter at this point that we are unhappy or even miserable, we just tend to learn to accept things and make the best of what we have. We will often pray or dream of someone to save us. We will wish something will happen outside of us that will turn it around. But what we are doing is we are just allowing the black hole to suck us in further and keep us there in our fixed automated ways of being. If we have addictions we feel even more attached and sucked into the darkness. Our own power to resist almost feels non-existent. We are telling the universe again and again that we are powerless. And the universe is responding in kind.
The good news is that in this reading, the Black Hole card is reversed, which means that there has been a release from some of these attachments. What was once stuck is becoming unstuck. There is an energy of power present. It could be the release of a toxic relationship or occupation, or perhaps a change in mindset or attitude, or maybe the healing of an addiction or obsession. Whatever it is, this card is also accompanied by Star Birth which is a beautiful card indicating that there is an energy of renewal and abundance – a rediscovery of one’s own personal power and what it feels like to be released from those attitudes, things, people, or circumstances that only cause misery and feelings of powerlessness. And because the Black Hole is such a powerful card, I am getting that whoever this reading is for has done an enormous amount of work to get to this point of not only surviving by resisting the power of the black hole, but by thriving and stepping into their own power.The next two cards fell out of the deck together and so they are meant to be read together. Both of them clarify the nature of the attachment that is being overcome in the Black Hole reversed card. The attachment is the attachment to approval from others, fame, masks, other people’s expectations. The attachment is an attachment to your own powerlessness, your belief in being a victim of life, of mind, of society, of God.
The first card is the reversed Star (6 of Wands). The upright meaning of this card is about short-lived victories. Stars shine for billions of years after they are born. But in divine time or universal time, this is a short moment. Not all things last, especially human feelings of victory. Movie stars, music stars, film stars: all of them fade. And your attachment to your own form of fame and attention is no different. In the reversed position here, the card indicates an unhealthy dependency on the constant need for reinforcement and approval. A billion plastic trophies. In this world of social media for example, we can easily get addicted to gathering as much approval as possible from friends, family, and even strangers. Fame and mass approval used to be something reserved for the few, but now it is easily accessible by everyone. That is great, but when unchecked, the drive to get approval from others can actually be a detriment to your own growth. It is easy to do something you know many will approve of and purchase. It is also easy to please family and friends who want you to do things the way they think they should be done. It is easy for us to become king of the ants. But so many of us can be something more than just a king of ants. It is truly a heroic task to discover what your true purpose is on this earth and to manifest that purpose despite what others might think. It is easier to get likes from others than to truly learn to like ourselves without the need for approval. Do you still want to play so small?
The second card is called Matter\Antimatter Annihilation (9 of Swords). Amazing that this card dropped. This is a card of deep internal conflict, deep fear, anxiety and self-annihilation. Matter and antimatter annihilate each other when they collide together. No one survives. The neglect of self is the matter. The antimatter here is the attention paid to what is non-self. The self and the non-self cannot co-exist together. They annihilate each other. The person, the individual, the soul is a battlefield and it is the soul who must pay. And yet it is also the soul who cannot win. It truly is bloody. The pain of this is unbelievably excruciating and there are many who are experiencing this pain, not usually consciously either. Most people experience this pain in their physical bodies, particularly in the lower chakras, because they are literally in survival mode. Digestive issues, reproductive issues, all are affected here.
But regardless of this pain, this internal war starts to become home. It becomes a familiar way of being not only for ourselves, but for everyone else around us. This mode of being, this Black Hole, this battle and addiction to wanting to win and be a victor consumes the human energy field and neglects the attention and love that the self requires. The reason why we want to gain people’s approval is so that we can create an even bigger army to prove that we are worth something in the world. The weakness that we experience in the self, in our lack of personal power, in our inability to feel good without the approval of others leads to the desire to bond with others and as many as possible in order to create a feeling of being more powerful than we actually are. The lie that we cultivate and the hidden feelings of self loathing and impotency create a warlike atmosphere within our inner world. And the more impotent we feel, the more we feel the urge to gain acceptance from others. This is why many people who are famous have such difficulties. They were driven to fame due to a lack of self worth and their parents’ (who pushed them) lack of self worth. And the bigger the fame, the deeper the self-loathing. Millions of people are now wanting to become internet stars. Not all are driven by lack of self worth, but many are and they are entirely unaware of it, because the high they get from public approval is enormous and it conceals from view their own true self neglect and lack of integrity. There is nothing wrong with wanting public attention per se, but we must look at the motivation we have behind it. Are we being true to ourselves and gaining public attention, or are we changing ourselves with masks and other tricks in order to maintain our public persona and, at the same time, medicate ourselves? These are critical questions that only the heart can answer.
But the good news is that the energy I am feeling to day is that there has been an overcoming or a beginning of overcoming of this need for approval and that there is some majority out there who are coming into their own sense of power and expression of self. There has been a shift inward and a new attention towards self mastery, self power and self love. This is truly a battle against the devil’s energy in both the tarot and Biblical sense. I am not sure whose energy I am reading here today, but I feel it as well and it is inspiring for us all because it is nothing other than the expression of unconditional love and the desire to permanently put an end to the pain of that internal warfare that consumes so many of us on this earth both in body and in soul.
Love and Light to all,